Mary Louise (“Mare”) Rubin
Mom, wife, friend, empty nester, yogi, marketer, entrepreneur, woman of a certain age. Maybe a writer.
Why I write
I write this for me. I write this because maybe a few people will relate to what I have to say. I write this because since turning 50 I feel a little different. In some ways I am different. In other ways, I will always be the kid riding my bike to the candy store with a friend with an empowered sense of freedom and a full embrace of the excitement of the present moment. I write this because I know that when that youthful feeling comes back to me, I embrace it, sometimes even cling to it, for as long as possible, knowing that it will elude me again like a gentle wave washing over my feet before being pulled back out to sea. The candy store was called Jack’s and boy, did he carry a great selection of candy. Shelves of endless choices. On top of that, his friendly smile was so warm and welcoming. Life’s simple joys.
That’s me on the tree and my sister walking on the river bank.
I write this because I have become more reflective. Because I am beginning to accept and love my older self, including all of my flaws and regrets. I write this because I found myself struggling with many things as I entered this new decade and I want my 50s to be my friend. I write this because I know now that there are so many moments in life when beauty and sadness are inextricably entwined. When past and present feel the same. When joy and loss can’t be separated. I write because I have more time, although days pass even during this pandemic when I’m not sure why I didn’t do that thing I have been meaning to do for three weeks. I am a new empty nester, I have been laid off from corporate America jobs twice in the last 16 months, I am a small business owner with my husband, helping him pivot a hard-earned success into something new while acknowledging all that’s lost.
So, while youth has left me and the days still get away, I find time to write. For me.
Me and My 50s 